The Gardener's Husband

Let me start by saying I’m not a gardener myself. But I have been around a real gardener for over thirty years, and you can’t (I can’t) be around someone for that length of time without picking up some, sometimes a lot, of their knowledge, philosophies, and attitudes.

For instance: from my Dad I learned preparedness for the unexpected; from my Mom I learned independence and self confidence; from my children I (re)learned idealism. But along with each of those I found I needed to learn additional skills and attitudes and philosophies. Besides preparedness, I needed to learn organization and situational assessment. Along with self confidence and independence, I needed to learn interdependence. And I had to learn how to temper idealism with truth and reality.

So, what does this have to do with gardening? I’ve already gotten somewhat far afield, so I’ll bring this home.

One of the most profound (for me) things that I’ve learned as the gardener’s husband is that the garden is a living thing. No, I don’t mean that the flowers and bushes and trees are alive. Of course they’re alive (unless they’re left too long in my care). I mean that the Idea of the Garden is alive. And that Idea is NOT those same plants we see; it is, instead, a concept in the mind of the Gardener.

And because that idea is alive, it grows and changes and takes on new form continually. What perhaps has been one of my hardest lessons is applying the living garden concept to my own life. The difficulty is not in the growing and changing – that comes every day with or without our conscious awareness. The true difficulty is in directing that growth and change to achieve the result that I want. The pruning, the replacing of the plants, the reordering of the layout, these are only the outward evidences of the idea that the gardener carries in the mind. When they don’t work out as planned, they need to be pruned, planted elsewhere, or, sometimes, ruthlessly uprooted and thrown away. The same applies to our habits, our attitudes even our philosophies.

Thank you to my personal gardener for this tremendous insight.